metal smells like the taste that is in my mouth when i wake up and think i am dead in the mornings

I smell a crowbar and a hammer laying on this side

I am sitting on the porch cutting a pear
I cut it and eat it off the knife
it is raining a little
I have a pizza thawing
in the microwave

I look up and see someone riding a bike
on the street next to the porch
he doesn’t see me
he is wearing a tan and red windbreaker
and an American flag helmet

I stare at the stars on the back of the helmet
as he passes
I cut into my knee with the knife
he doesn’t see me
sitting there stabbing myself
while the dog tries to get to the pizza
and I fall out of the chair onto the old wood