once, when I was close to being dead, I felt calm like I was in line at the bank

When I Wake Up the Dog is Standing Next to the Bed Staring at Me

I look to see if it has a toy
I am glad not to be alone
I got the dog from a friend at my old job
they call it larry and I call it buddy
it doesn't answer to me
I can't get it to stop and it is raining and I can't fall back to sleep
I stare at the cieling while the dog stares at me
the sun comes up outside
my friend gave me the dog after my divorce
larry is good to talk to he told me then
he had to go take care of some fantasy baseball
I was having trouble sleeping back then



I Wonder Where That Older Woman Who Tried to Have Sex with me When I Was a Teenager Went

She came over and played backgammon drunk as hell
I was lonely and thought the company would be nice
she told me to kiss her on the couch
and I kissed her then she got real flustered and tried to leave
I said stay I said it's alright
she sucked my dick and I licked her pussy
I said I am not going to have sex with you
she said do you have a condom
I said yes but I am not going to have sex with you
we stopped touching each other and sat around naked
later she came up to me and whispered do you have a condom
I said no she said well I ain't gunn ride that shit bareback I said what oh
no we aren't going to have sex
I bet I am about her age by now
if I had her number right now I would text her
that she is the sexiest thing alive and
that I dream of her touching the table and the window
even though it is a lie
it might make us both feel better right now



Watching Mike Tyson Fights Makes Me Think About the Waterbottle Collection I Had in the Eighties

by ninetyone they were boxed up in storage
I tried to ebay them
no luck
I held onto one of them
it is eyecatching lime and orange
I take it to the gym with me
everytime I go
at my gym there's a picture of Mike Tyson sitting with the owner
well good god i say to myself
if that ain't the good life



I Don't Have the Energy to Touch

fuckin mosquitoes are all over me
I touch them violently
but that is where I draw the line
I have little pieces of windshield under the skin in my face
tears rest on them halfway down my cheek
people ask my if I have been crying and I tell them its from last friday
when I couldn't sleep and I thought you were coming for me
I used to wait for you
now I fortify
it is all right
this place is going to the brush
I cannot
where are my cigarettes