fuck me harder motherfucker, nice to meet ya

Fuck Me Harder Motherfucker

I pull down my pants again
it doesn't mean much
I am shaking my legs
I don't know what to say
so I look at your eyes to see if you will say something
you whisper to me
and I try to give you what you want



When I Was Young I named My Dogs After Sly Stallone

theres rocky one rocky two rocky three and rocky balboa
I had a bird named rambo that died caught up in some power lines
and when i was a teenager my mom kept a tab
I would get home from work and ma would come up and ask for forty
for her and dad to go to the bar
I said okay and eventually the tab got up to six hundred
so I cut them off
I walked down the street in a green tank top
a bee flew near me
a cat attacked something I couldn't see in the distance
goddamm
I throw a potato over the house



I Try to Look Like Santa Claus Around Christmas

when I go to the mall I dress up like santa
I am large and I have a beard
I put on a fake pinky and go to the mall
I go to the santa booth and wait in line
the families that are in line look at me like I smell
I have fresh gingerbread cookies in my pockets
I go and sit on santa's lap every year
I have more than twenty pics of grown men dressed as santa
sitting on each other
after I go walking through the stores
and people run up to me and hug me
and tell me how much they love me
they tug my beard and poke my belly I say oh it's real
and I say ho ho ho and tell them I am divorced
I say in real life
I am santa